This Is What Dating A Bipolar Person Feels Like
Then I cringe again, as I realize my illness DOES make me a challenging person to be in a relationship with. I DO suffer from mood swings, highs and lows, manic anxiety and haunting depression.
I have become acutely aware of my body and its warning signs in my 39 years on Earth. I have realized, while I may have very little control over these episodes (in spite of my mood stabilizers, and preventative care), it’s still not the responsibility of my romantic partners to tolerate any angry projection or all-consuming depression.
It should not be the “price” they pay to enjoy my many incredibly awesome days. So I have chosen to try to isolate myself on those days. To go to the gym two (three, four?) times in a day to exhaust my manic episode away.
Or to quarantine myself to my room, coping with suicidal ideations and crushing sadness.
I know myself well enough to understand and trust I would never act on those thoughts, ever. I have five beautiful children I could never let down, and could never be without, but to convince someone else of that is a tough chore.
Guys tend to walk on eggshells around me. Not because I’m a temperamental nightmare, but because they see me as this delicate little flower that will shrivel up and die at the slightest touch.